Tell your mind good things to avoid depression

Unfortunately, in Pakistan talking about mental health is a stigma just like talking about s**.  It is also least understood and wrongly conceived. 

Well most of us don’t know that whatever we tell our subconscious mind, it believes in it. So how many of us tell our mind the ‘good things’ ?  Allah tells us repeatedly in Quran to be thankful. But why the creator of heave and earth, the As Samad (self-sufficient) need our thanks? It is because He has created us and He knows that how our mind works. So if we will tell our mind positive things, automatically positive energy will be created and if we will always focus on negativity, we will turn into a negative person, eventually falling into anxiety and depression.

I used to think that just by offering 4  prayers, hardly 5 in a day and reciting Alhamdulillah dua after eating food, I was being enough thankful to my Lord. It was just that recently I realized that how ungrateful I’d been to my Lord  by thinking about 'ifs' and 'whys'. Through self-reflection, I realized that constant nagging about certain situations like ‘but I wanted this’ ‘but I am made like this’ ‘but I can’t be like this’ ‘I wish’ have gradually made me an ‘Unhappy’ person. It has become easy for me to find reasons for being ‘anxious’ or ‘unhappy’. But after much needed self-therapy, counseling with peers and reading a book on positivity, I have realized 90% of problems are just in my mind, not in real.

Another thing I realized is that only you’re responsible for your own life and happiness. Allah tells us that this world is temporary, so are the people. So try to be self-reliant and indulge in happiness which may not necessarily involve ‘people’ or ‘huge money’.

Third, take very good care of yourself – your mental and physical health (no it doesn’t mean binge TV watching or Facebooking). Anything which involve nurturing of your mind, body or soul. It could be as little as using a DIY mask at home, reading your favorite book, making your favorite recipe or going to a massage center. Try to eat healthy and stay physically active. 

Life is....

This life is nothing but a deception . Full of imperfections, flaws, sadness and heartbreaks. Whenever we indulge in our mundane affairs and forget our purpose of existence, God gives us a sudden jolt to remind us that this life is just a temporary abode designed to give us everything on temporarily basis..be it sadness or happiness .. the eternal comfort and solace that we look for will never be attained in this unpredictable world. But still, despite knowing this all, we succumb to our nafs - the toughest form of jihad and fall prey to shaitaan tricks easily. We all know that he is our biggest enemy with only one aim to lead us astray but still many a times we let him take victory over us .. yes it's not easy,...the constant effort to try to please your Creator and defeat your enemy who is stronger, cunning and extremely determined to defeat you in any way possible

When will we be united ?

It is heartrending to see that entire world has stood united against a terrorist attack in which 17 people died. But death of 150+ innocent children couldn’t unite us as a nation. Still we are debating and defending our political leaders … And seriously LOL at those who say that bereaved parents’ anger is justified as IK has gotten married at the wrong time. Yes their anger is justified but is our argument justified? My question is: Have we stopped smiling, eating, partying or shopping? Was there any significant change in our lives after that incident? Did we really mourn like we do when our dear ones part away…At least I did not … so how can we expect the same from others?. Being a government representative, yes IK is answerable to those parents… Directly or indirectly he is also responsible for that incident…But we should realize that we ‘as a nation’ probably too had a role to play which we didn’t (except a few) …. By pointing fingers at others we cannot acquit from our obligations. I cannot expect solidarity from other countries when people within the country cannot give up their prejudices for the sake of national interests…! If this tragedy could not unite us, I believe nothing ever will unite us ..!!

We want 'Nai Soch' Not 'Naya Pakistan'

I am among a few PTI  voters who do not support this Azadi March wholeheartedly as I do not want instability or chaos in the country. I like my normal routine of 9 to 5 in the office and then go home, eat, pray  and then sleep peacefully. I go to PTI protests only when I feel the crowd is good and weather is pleasant. Most of the time my support and protest is confined to the digital space. I am okay with paying 34.5% tax on mobile cards. I can bear loadshedding as I know this is temporary and will last for only ummmm 10 or 20 years max ? I am also fine with the government running massive ad campaigns with public's tax money. I am indifferent to with disclosure of government's corruption cases and extortion of public money. 

But today overhearing a conversation between three people  in my office van dawned upon me, why have we always being ruled a corrupt leader. So the conversation went on like this:

Girl 1: What IK is doing causing harm to our economy? He must give in and accept Nawaz as a PM. What if he is doing corruption? All of the politicians do…
Girl 2: Exactly… Even Benazir did. and Zardari .... He was king of corruption !
Girl 1: Yes. Atleast our current PM is better than him. He might be plundering money, but isn't he spending on country too.
Where I was already dozing off, this conversation made me sleepier but then my ‘van driver’ interrupted the conversation and what he said caused me to wake up from my sleep (Literally)!
So this is what he asked the girl?
Driver: Beta to is ka matlab hai aap bakhushi tyaar hain Nawaz Sharif ki ghulaami k liye. (So it means you are ready to yield to the antics of corrupt leaders)
Girl 1: (after a thought) Ummmm aur koi hal bhi to nahin. ( we don't have any choice)
Driver:  Bus beta phir aap tyaar hojayen Hamza Shabaz Shareef  phir Maryam Nawaz ki ghulami kay liye.(My dear, then get ready to be ruled by corrupt leaders one after the other). Then he continued: if I had fought this battle years ago, today I could have made a better future for my children. My fault is I accepted this status quo like you are accepting today and now my children are paying for that. This is not a fight of IK and Nawaz. This is the fight of 2 social classes in Pakistan. The ones who have gotten everything here. They don’t want to change the system and not ready to pay the taxes either. The other consists of people like me who work from 9 am till 12 am and still can’t feed their kids properly. Youth like you should support this fight or else get ready for the unending slavery . IK’s only fault is that he lacks the power of speech. He is fighting for our rights but he is not able to gather a large mass of population because he doesn't know how to play politics and use sugar-coated words to entice the people.
At that time i realized that we have gotten so accustomed to corruption that we embrace our blatant corrupt leaders with wide-arms open. And because we agree that ‘Corrupt to sab hi hote hain’ ( everyone is corrupt). we allow them to do it. We don’t want to come out of our cocoons and break this trend of political dynasty.
From a match-box to a new car, we are paying heavy taxes on everything and what do we get in return?.
I don’t think this long march will bear any good result as the majority of the population happily allow politicians to suck their blood.  IK’s surely does not have a magic wand. Even if he comes to the power, things will not change unless we change ourselves. The problem is not with the Nawaz, Zardari or any other leader.  The problem lies with us. With our blindfolded eyes, numb mind and indifferent attitude this system cannot be changed. Hence we need a ‘Nai Soch’ not a ‘Naya Pakistan'.

And since I am also too insolent to raise voice against this corruption, i deserve to be victimized at the hands of corrupt leaders.

Every Employee is a Marketer !

Gone are the days when a CMO after spending millions on an advert could spend peacefully knowing it would hit the right audience and generate revenue.  When a salesman would knock from door to door in an effort to introduce company’s products to the prospects.  This is the ‘Age of Customers’ where customers are more empowered, more informed and more mobile than the past.  This means even before a salesperson knock at their door to educate them about the product, they have already researched about it through internet or heard over social media.  This has made marketing altogether complex and integrated.  It has now evolved from mere mass marketing to relationship or social marketing.

According to a new definition of marketing it is a process of creating, communicating and delivering set of values to the customers while engaging in long term relationships with them. And this value-delivery process cannot work unless all employees are on the same page. Amid fierce competition, only those companies take lead where all departments work cohesively towards value creation for the customers. This means all employees are directly or indirectly involved in the marketing.

 So the question is how can employees act as marketers? Should an HR person be involved in selling of the products? Should an accountant write copy for the ad campaigns?  Definitely Not! Employee as a marketer implies that he/she should be a part of customer acquisition and customer retention cycle. Every time an accountant is making timely payments to the customers, he is fulfilling company’s promise of superior customer service. Every time an engineer is developing quality products, he is fulfilling a promise of delivering quality products.   An HR person act as a marketer by extending company’s brand story to the current and prospective employees. Every time an employee is saying something positive about the company, he is in fact doing the marketing of a company.

Customers no longer demands products alone from the company, they want a complete value package- a matchless experience indeed!

So by putting clients’ needs ahead of your needs, by adhering to the company’s mission and vision, by spreading positive stories about the company, you perform the role of a marketer.  

Time to change rishta hunting trend !

Trend should change now ! ….

A girl along with her ammi, khala, chachi, should go to a guy house for rishta hunting. Guy's mother should spend entire day in kitchen making extravagant dishes for them.
A well groomed nervous guy should come in front of rishta hunters so that they can screen him from "head to toe" .

Girl's mother should ask series of questions ranging from what skills he have to what future plans he hold…then all aunties should start a long episode of girl’s bragging and must show their pride in the girl . In the meanwhile they should eat food voraciously (Maal-e-muft, dil-e-bereham wala scene) !
and in the end Girls family should say in a casual tone : hum aap ko soch k batayen gay which would leave guy's family in an unambiguous situation, and as soon as they step out of the house, guy's mother should comment : “ mujhe to zara ni pasand aya larka, us ki naak dekhi thi… pakora” !

Pakistani Morning Shows ---- Pain to Eyes

The best way to torture somebody to death  is to lock him/her up  in a room without a TV remote and put a morning show on the TV….Even seeing a glimpse of those morning shows will take his/her life. Guaranteed! I just saw a glimpse of these shows and was about to commit suicide. :/ (Ok it’s a bit exaggeration but trust me these shows s*ck big time!! )

Utho Jago Pakistan - Geo TV

So the show started off with the camera zooming three fat b*ms ( no exaggeration) dancing on a lavishly decorated stage and a lady laden with heavy jewelry, makeup and designer wear appeared from right in the middle of those fat b*ms and Ms Shaista Shodi joined her also..

It was really difficult to decide who was looking more pastry..!

So the intellectual discussion going on between them was:  “Jab  se morning show walon ne shadian shuro ki hain aur yeh  raani emaan ne kapre dene shuro kiye hain, Farzeen ne jewelry deni shuro ki hai, to saare log yehi dekhte rehte hain yaar, nashta koi ni dekhta :O”  

Never mind!!  

Next came the bride and music was being played in the background: “Saada chiriyan da chamba ra, babul asaan ur jana”.

So the little birdie who was about to fly was no other than Javaria Saud originally married with Saud 8 years ago.

And what a melodramatic scene!!  She was crying like crazy for perhaps getting fat after marriage or over her decision of marrying Saud in the first place. God knows better: /

Groom’s Entry:  Saud sitting on a chair with his eyes wide open and his bhabi putting surma in his eyes. (But respect for him because his expressions revealed that deep inside he knew that audience watching him were showering him with lots of “Laan Taan”).

 So the groom who a round protruding belly (infact Bella) and must had weighed over 85 kg was ready in maroon sherwani and black qulla and his chachian mamian bhabian were swirling money around his head to protect him from the evil eye.   Maa sadqe Jaye !!

Good Morning Pakistan- ARY

Sadia imam’s departure was being shown.  There were 10 – 15 people departing Sadia imam and she was crying like a small kid whose parents had promised her to buy her a new doll house on her birthday but they didn’t. And then she sat in a buggy with her groom and had gone with a music in the background “Babul ki duaen leti jaa, show ko rating bharmaar mile”… :/

Jago Pakistan Jago - HUM TV

Previously a macho man and my ex-crush but now he has gotten a bit of zanana touch in him - Fahad Mustafa anchors the show.

Even make up cannot contour hiss swollen eyes which he has gotten uummm probably due to late night sleeps: /  .. Seeing him doing a pathetic show is always too much to take so I always change the channel before he reveals which designer sherwani he is wearing..!

The Maya Khan Show - Express TV

There comes the all time favourite.  Jaan se pyari, Sub ki dulari---- Maya Baji

So there was one special episode in which she had called a peer baba and a girl whose body was possessed by a jin… And whole exorcism drama was being played on a live show.!!!

But I would give her credit for one thing. The dramatization seemed so real that my father who never believed in such thing was actually convinced that girl’s body was possessed by a Jin…. Now this is called a real achievement.

Other than this special show, most of time I’ve seen her doing shows on Saas Bahu k Maslay or same bandwagon of latkay jhatkay thumkay.

She is the one great lady who is always concerned about other people’s issues. Who is dating whom, Why saas is fighting with bahu, why husband wife are fighting with each other. Poor soul has a really sensitive heart … But surprising thing is that even after taking so much stress, she is gaining weight like anything. o_O

 My sincere advice to her:       Please concentrate on your diet,

                                               Not on others domestic fights…